So You Want to Change Your Life…

Starting over at 30 is hard.

I wrote a blog a while ago about how my hero started her life over at 30, went back to school and spent 10 focused years becoming who she is today.

It was encouraging before I turned thirty because it meant I wasn’t stuck in who I thought I wanted to be when I was 19.

If you need a little back story, I turned 30 last October, then my husband and I ended up moving halfway across the country to be near family. We’re looking for friends, careers, finding schools, oh and having a baby. And every piece of it is harder than it was when I was 20. There aren’t many other 30 year olds looking for new friends, or at least none of us know where to go to find each other.

I’ve been trying to shift my career, but people look at my resume and say, “You do accounting? Why are you here? What do you have to offer?” And I end up looking at entry level, entry pay positions that I can’t afford to take with a toddler and baby on the way. Day care is $$$$.

I have been wanting to start my masters degree, so add that into being a full time mom, career and cost issues and… it’s so overwhelming.

So I think back to my hero. She was a mom by her thirties too.

My only comfort is that in the next 10 years if I work hard I can be where I want to be. 

She never said it’d be easy and it’s not. And there’s very little to comfort you when your bank account starts dwindling with no income in sight.

Here’s what I can’t figure out:

Do I accept the position offering half what I was making at my last job for a foot in the door and a foot out of accounting and eat rice and beans for every meal for the next year? Or do I sell out and try to make enough to make ends meet and just hope that when I finish my masters I can finally be out of the world I don’t want to be in?

Adulting is hard, ya’ll. Momming is hard and you know what else?

Changing your life is hard.

Worth it? TBD.


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