Still Moving Forward

 Last night Noah fell asleep in my arms after eating.

He snuggled up against me in my bed and I prayed I could just fall asleep and not have to move him.

Because oh man.

Those moments.

Heaven.

I prayed. I thanked God for my boy. And dear Jesus please just make time stand still for a little bit. Don't let my boy grow up just yet.

What NOT to Pack in your Hospital Bag for Labor and Delivery

Four weeks before our due date we thought I was going to be induced because of preeclampsia.

We were so unprepared. 

We threw a hospital bag together that weekend and waited for test results on Monday. When they came back with good news we decided to pack a REAL bag.

I bought a fuzzy new robe and slippers to walk the halls during my estimated 14 hour labor, I got an oil diffuser to keep it from smelling like hospital and making me want to puke, J even made me a playlist for calm inspiration and we got a Bluetooth speaker to go with it. I had a book and enough snacks to keep J from getting "hangry" while he waited.

We were so prepared.

How I Learned Not To Get Ahead Of Myself

I was four and a half months pregnant, J was driving, our dog was in the hatchback and her crate was rattling in the backseat. We'd already tried at every gas fill up to stop the rattling, there was no end in sight.

"Oh man." I closed my eyes. "I just want to be a little farther along... Just a little. It doesn't have to be a lot."

J nodded in understanding. It was going to be a long night.

I thought about that phrase: farther along. On the metaphorical side there were a few things I wanted to be further along in too. Career, finances, influence...

The End.

New Years Eve J and I were driving home from his sister's and realized east on the 56 was not the direction we wanted to go.

We went toward the sunset, then up the coast to Del Mar Beach.

Seven and a half years ago it's where we shared our first kiss. Six years and five days ago it's where he gave me a ring and said he wanted to grow old with me. New Years Eve 2015 it's where our story ended...

A New Morning

I woke up last Monday morning to a new life.

I was in my bed, next to my husband, with a 38-week child inside, but everything else was new. And I felt new too.

The week before I had no idea. The week was a whirlwind...

I realized this never "should have" happened...

The Baby Likes Pickles

Has anyone else seen this irony?

When I eat pickles and the baby moves I say, the baby loves pickles, Monkey is so happy! 

When grandma calls and the baby moves I say, the baby loves Grandma!

But when the baby is born I strap the baby into car seats, swings, high chairs and baby wraps and hope baby "settles" down. Which means "is still". 

I heard someone say he was learning to embrace the mess and dirt in his life, 'cause it meant he had kids who were living

Blaspheming Yoda and Inspiring Conversations with Dad

"If it takes until the 10th time to succeed, then the first nine failures should be celebrated as much as the 10th success." 

J and I looked at each other and smiled. J's dad was in town last week and we had an amazing time. 

He was telling us about an idea he'd heard and that was really changing his thoughts. So we couldn't help but smile. Someone gets it, someone gets us.

The idea was one J and I had established as one of our top four family values two years ago before we left New Jersey. 

I realized I've never really unpacked any of our values on the blog so I guess it's a good time to start.

Playing Poke and Kick -or- learning to be content when I accomplish nothing

Accomplishments.

Most of my life I've thought it's what moments were made for. Accomplishing something. 

Almost anything. 

I thought a moment which accomplished nothing was wasted and I lost a bit of my value each time a moment was wasted.

I've always used moments to try to enhance my self-worth. To be a "better" person. I thought if I did enough good things I'd finally believe I was good enough.